Women have gynaecologists to go to, sex tips in Cosmo and Femina, girls seem to have a whole industry that has been built around sexual health and advice about sex. What do men do? Does that awkward conversation while watching porn with your friend count? Or that drunk conversation? Or that random boasting? Or being told to be a ‘mard’ or a ‘man’? Probably not. If you are like most of us you probably have a lot of questions and you don’t know who to ask.
I am a physician specializing in public health, and work with HIV and Sexually Transmitted Diseases. Five years ago, along with my partner Gautam Ivatury, I started a service called ‘MeraDoctor’.
MeraDoctor is one of India’s largest online health services that gives you access to instant medical advice from highly trained family doctors, nutritionists and counselors. Although we built the service to answer all kinds of primary health queries and advise people on medical conditions, nutrition and mental health issues over 50% of the questions that we get from young men are about sex or sexual health. Many of these are very basic, such as questions about penis size or masturbation. If people didn’t lack good quality and reliable information, they would not need to pay someone to answer these for them. But other queries like problems with urination, or erection could be serious medical conditions for which a doctor’s advice is invaluable. Often this help is not sought out maybe due to a lack of awareness or awkwardness, but also because of an attitudinal barrier. People believe that if you do not know something or if there is a problem with something connected to your "manhood", it makes you less of a man.Sex, shame and fearAs a young boy when you start exploring sex, what you first learn is that sex is associated with shame, that it is dirty. Then you hear myths about your manhood - and how precious it is. Someone probably told you that you masturbate (“hasth maithun”, “muth marna”, “hilana”) too much and you won’t grow tall or that night fall (nocturnal emissions or “dhat”) will leave you with no sperm left.
You were also probably told that size matters, that some boys are pansies or “guud” and therefore abnormal, that you need to dress in a certain way, women need to be ‘dealt with’ in a certain way. You were also taught that sex is mostly about YOUR pleasure. What all of this does is confuse you as a young adult.All of the above are obviously wrong. In the chaos of myths being pushed as facts, and things that do not need fixing being propagated as problems, the very important information gets lost. Because of course there are also serious sexual health issues that men should worry about and get help for.The most important thing that we need to be able to understand first is what IS and what IS NOT a problem – and that is what I hope to help you figure out in this handy guide.Things that most likely are not a problem
It is normal and nothing to be worried about. It is not an illness but a natural process by which old sperms come out and make space for new sperms. New sperms are produced continuously in our body and old ones are pushed out. It does not cause any physical harm or weakness.
If you are sexually active and not in a long term mutually monogamous relationship it makes sense to get screened for STDs. Your General Physician should be able to help you decide what tests to get and when.There are a wide range of STD’s with varying symptoms, some of them can be easily cured, but many of them can also be fatal if they are addressed soon enough.These are some top signs that should not be ignored:
I am a physician specializing in public health, and work with HIV and Sexually Transmitted Diseases. Five years ago, along with my partner Gautam Ivatury, I started a service called ‘MeraDoctor’.MeraDoctor is one of India’s largest online health services that gives you access to instant medical advice from highly trained family doctors, nutritionists and counselors. Although we built the service to answer all kinds of primary health queries and advise people on medical conditions, nutrition and mental health issues over 50% of the questions that we get from young men are about sex or sexual health. Many of these are very basic, such as questions about penis size or masturbation. If people didn’t lack good quality and reliable information, they would not need to pay someone to answer these for them. But other queries like problems with urination, or erection could be serious medical conditions for which a doctor’s advice is invaluable. Often this help is not sought out maybe due to a lack of awareness or awkwardness, but also because of an attitudinal barrier. People believe that if you do not know something or if there is a problem with something connected to your "manhood", it makes you less of a man.Sex, shame and fearAs a young boy when you start exploring sex, what you first learn is that sex is associated with shame, that it is dirty. Then you hear myths about your manhood - and how precious it is. Someone probably told you that you masturbate (“hasth maithun”, “muth marna”, “hilana”) too much and you won’t grow tall or that night fall (nocturnal emissions or “dhat”) will leave you with no sperm left.You were also probably told that size matters, that some boys are pansies or “guud” and therefore abnormal, that you need to dress in a certain way, women need to be ‘dealt with’ in a certain way. You were also taught that sex is mostly about YOUR pleasure. What all of this does is confuse you as a young adult.All of the above are obviously wrong. In the chaos of myths being pushed as facts, and things that do not need fixing being propagated as problems, the very important information gets lost. Because of course there are also serious sexual health issues that men should worry about and get help for.The most important thing that we need to be able to understand first is what IS and what IS NOT a problem – and that is what I hope to help you figure out in this handy guide.Things that most likely are not a problem- Penis Size
- Masturbation
For more masturbation myth busters, click here.
The medical community considers masturbation to be a natural and harmless expression of sexuality for both men and women. It neither causes any physical injury nor any harm to the body, and can be performed in moderation throughout a person's life as a part of normal sexual behaviour. It will not affect you or your ability to have children in the future. So go ahead and masturbate :)- Night fall
It is normal and nothing to be worried about. It is not an illness but a natural process by which old sperms come out and make space for new sperms. New sperms are produced continuously in our body and old ones are pushed out. It does not cause any physical harm or weakness.- Being attracted to boys or being attracted both boys and girls
If you are sexually active and not in a long term mutually monogamous relationship it makes sense to get screened for STDs. Your General Physician should be able to help you decide what tests to get and when.There are a wide range of STD’s with varying symptoms, some of them can be easily cured, but many of them can also be fatal if they are addressed soon enough.These are some top signs that should not be ignored:- Pain/burning during urination
- Feeling like urinating often
- Pain during ejaculation
- Abnormal discharge from penis
- Swelling of testicles
- Blisters, boils or sores on the penis.
