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The Manifesto Matrimonial That (Shoulda) Made History

Why be a bahu when you can be bahurupi?

There is a picture of Indhuja riding a motorcycle. The card also contains the front page of the Bangalore Mirror. 

In a city called Bangalore (ok, Bengaluru) someone called Indhuja was really rather  busy. Climbing trees, riding bikes, working a job she quite loved. And one day (when she was like 23), her parents decided time for next steps and put out an ad, matrimonial wala "We are looking for a groom for our daughter who is working as a software engineer,"

Indhuja’s response: Bengaluru, we have a problem da.

The card contains a photograph of Indhuja standing against the blackboard. She is pointing to something written on the blackboard.

[Indhuja speaking]: Problem 1: "The facts were all wrong. The ad painted the picture of a homely girl, which I definitely wasn’t.”

Problem 2: “Also, I’m not a software engineer. I like helping small companies grow, and think of myself as a ‘catalyst in a start-up’.”

Problem 3: “I wasn’t looking to be married, and definitely not the traditional way! It got me angry. Very angry”

Oh well, there was only one thing Indhuja could do… so she did it.

The card contains Indhuja’s matrimonial ad. The ad has a photograph where she has climbed onto a tree and is smiling at the camera. The entire card has a border of marigold garlands.

Yep - she built her own matrimonial

This is who I am: (it said)

NOT a womanly woman. Definitely not marriage material. Won't grow long hair, ever.

Gender: Tomboy.

Ideal life partner:

A man, preferably bearded, who is passionate about seeing the world. Someone who earns for himself and does NOT hate his job. Must be flexible with his parents, also means, it's better if he is NOT a family guy. Extra points to the one who hates kids. Points for a great voice and an impressive personality. Should be able to hold a conversation for at least 30 minutes.

News flash: it was not a short matrimonial. When you don’t check the boxes made by heteronormative sanskar, you got to go long na. 

The card contains a wedding invitation with Indhuja’s face on it. She has sunglasses on which say, ‘Go away.’

Indhuja’s reccos for prospective suitors:

“If you think you qualify, I recommend you re-think.”

“If you are sure, I suggest you show this website to your parents.”

“If you're still sure, try imagining a life with someone like me. Unsure? click the 'X' and get back to what you were doing.”

“Sure? Drop me a message on Facebook or tweet to me.”

Aage kya hua? >>

The card contains the same matrimonial ad as on Card 3. It also shows the social media reactions it received. For example, there are illustrations of ‘like’ buttons on Facebook. 

Engagement hui na hui, engagements were strong

No points for guessing. Indhuja’s post went viral!

350,000 page views

11,000 likes on Facebook

1,000 comments and responses and

40 suitors/proposals

Whom did Indhuja pick?

Indhuja wears a turban, a pair of sunglasses and a piece of paper which has ‘Main apni favourite hun’ written on it.

Indhuja picked: Herself!

Meanwhile her inbox was bursting with letters from ladies

The card contains an image of Indhuja riding a motorcycle.

Women were writing to Indhuja stuff like:

[illustrations of women faces] “You read my mind.” 

“I want to do the same thing but my parents won’t allow.”

Indhuja’s face: "It's overwhelming to see people relate to this and connect it to a bigger problem. It's part of conservative Indian culture that a woman should not go out after dark and if you do you're not considered to be from a homely family," 

Indhuja ka sawaal:

“These profiles and websites are so many, but where is the room for us to be an individual? I wanted to show that we can just talk about who we really are.”

Jawaab hai? (comments mein dal do)

And Indhuja’s parents  - what did they think of her manifesto matrimonial?

The card contains photographs of Indhuja’s face and her parents. 

Indhuja’s parents were like “what’s all this”. But, her mom would read all the comments.

One day, they asked her: “Kanna, do you like anyone? It’s okay, tell us.”

(Arranged nahin, toh love bhi chalega? Na?)

Indhuja said, “Please stop this for some time."

So  they did, Happy endings can happen!

Don’t believe everything you see in the movies frenz!

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