Masturbation is a sex (with yourself) topic, so judgy sansar think of it as “gandi baat”. And the soft and hard and silky places it touches are considered “gandi jagah” because they are related to both, sex and body waste. Result? Masturbation and hygiene are two words rarely used together, as if they’re unlikely partners, but really, if you think about it, they’re chaddi buddies! Don’t let this double dose of shame prevent you from thinking about hygiene for your private parts, including during self-pleasure. Here is a quick checklist of masturbation hygiene fundas to keep in mind. 
Simple, saral practice of washing hands and nails in proper ways can keep thousands of bacteria away! (Before and after masturbation, dono) Dirty hand-to-sex contact se kya hoga? Infections, inflammation, and in worse cases, bacteria travel deeper to cause kidney infections (Na babaa na!) irrespective of sexual organs. Toh combine haath ki safai with the AOI guide to genital hygiene, your complete cleanliness kit for sexy times! 
Shorter fingernails are a shorter route to pleasure, without speed-breakers, yaniki, bumps or cuts from pointed nails or hangnails. Cuts and tears of genitals can invite infection, sometimes even leading to Naka-bandi, yaniki, painful pussy swellings (ufff)
Painted nails camouflage a lot of dirt underneath. It’s usually safe to masturbate with painted nails as long as they are washed and dried well. [Quick-dry nail polishes, here we cum ;) With nail-art, wagehra, beads or glitter might chip into the genitalia, causing itches and infections, so best to avoid it for masturbation waale fingers.
For masturbation by dry-humping, be possessive about your objects of pleasure- pillows, sofas, edgy surfaces, mattresses, etc. Avoiding sharing objects to rub against = Avoiding infections Kyunki infections spread through fluid exchange- not just ejaculate but sweat and other secretions also.
If masturbation during menses is golden pain-relief, then right hygiene is sone pe suhaga. Like, simply keep hands, nails, and sex toys thoroughly washed, clean and dry for maximum pleasure. Clean towels or sheets at hand are the answer to the mess it may create. Dry-humping is a good alternative to a mess-free approach. Baaki bas, adjust the soaking device (pad, tampon, cloth or cup) in a spill-free direction!
Always store them in cases or covers, given that these collect dust easily. Easy ko ignore na karo! Before exposing your sex organs to sex toys or appliances, make sure to wash them with soap (or the prescribed method for that particular appliance) and dry them clean. The same applies after use as well.
Yaad rahey, the anus pushes feces out and so no fecal matter has the ticket to travel up the rectal tract. So (ideally) wait for bowels to clear before inserting into the anus. Wash clean with soap and dry fingers, sex toys, and other non-sharp pleasure objects- dono- before and after use. Aur haan- lubricate anal opening and rectum well, for smooth and easy passage of finger or sex object (also a measure against cuts and tears). Folks with vagina, avoid taking butt play to vaginal play as it’s a sure-shot path to infection. Always go front to back, okay? 
Post-orgasm, wipe clean the discharge with a clean and dry cloth or towel for healthy and happy private-parts. Those with uncircumcised penis, clean up under the foreskin as harmful bacteria and smegma (white, sticky waste) gather in the region. One can also trim pubic hair to avoid fluids from getting trapped. If undies get too wet or soil, don’t keep them on for too long. Continuous moisture exposure achha nahi hota (fungal infections, wagehra. Ayyo!) Jaise ki one should post-sex, peeing post-masturbation keeps the risk of infection at bay!
