When some of us were small, we thought that kissing was only done in foreign countries. Especially mouth-to-mouth.And when we were a little older, we started hearing small, tiny rumours of friends of friends who had kissed. Then we heard directly from friends that they had kissed. Now we felt like we were in a foreign country, where everyone knew the rules except us. How to ask, “how to do it?” How to ask, “how to kiss,” without feeling and looking like a fool.Can anyone learn to kiss?So here is our hard-won answer. Anyone can learn to kiss.
Picking the momentNow, you might have heard the phrase, “Ek hath se tali nahi bajti.” No? Yes, well we are here to tell you that you can have many kinds of pleasure alone, but for kissing you need a willing partner. Now, you might say that you are not into clapping at all and you think you have a willing partner. Think? As in, you are feeling ki those romantic feelings are a two-way street but a kiss hasn’t happened yet. Yes, we’ve all been there.Are you making an ishq move that is welcome? To find out go here and read our checklist.Back? Permission mila? Now it’s a question of timing and venue, oh kissless dost.Let us be the ones to tell you. Don’t worry too much about the venue. “I heard from my boyfriend’s roommate that every time I was about to come over to his hostel room he would spray the place with AXE deo,” says 21-year-old Simran. “I had to tell him to stop.”Now a kiss with perfect mausam, mood lighting and rose-scented agarbatti would be awesome. But that is a very rare kiss-mat. Many first kisses are likely to happen in the most unfortunate circumstances. Worst rain of the monsoon, one of you have lost your chappals and you are standing in mud. You have got very bad maths marks and you are wondering about life. You have your periods. You are wearing your most hated shirt. All of this could be the right moment if you are both feeling intimate and warm towards the other.The kiss is a way in which you literally and metaphorically close the tiny gap between you and your lover. So now take a breath and move in.
Moving into the kiss/ Chetavani, aage kiss hai.Now, you could be the shy type and feel like this is just too much, three much. You just want to indicate to the other person that you would like a kiss, you wouldn’t mind it, no problem. But you cannot possibly make the move, you’d rather die etc.Actually, dost, this can be an asset in this situation. Hold your lover’s hand if you are not doing it already. Hold both. It will help you move up closer together and signal to your lover if s/he is still being a tubelight.If you don’t generally make much physical contact, even touching someone’s forearm deliberately (we suggest forearm and not upper arm) and looking into the other person’s eyes might be a solid enough signal. You could touch the other person’s hair. Instead of saying anything, you can actually use silence to deepen the mood. Your partner should get the hint fairly quickly if you move in the tiniest bit closer.“I was wondering whether he would kiss me all evening because there was so much tension, plus he was leaving on a plane that night. I was doing non-stop bak-bak when suddenly he grabbed my waist and kissed me, while my hands were flailing about. It was so exciting,” says our friend Anusha, remembering her first and last kiss with the gent.Now, with great certainty comes great power. AKA the kiss.
The kiss itself / Yeh kahan aa gaye hum? (Kiss pe baba)We have friends who sometimes come back from exams crying, “All the questions came from the chapters I didn’t study.” Don’t be like that. Don’t go running to get a kiss and then start crying because you hadn’t studied this chapter. Now focus.Your lips touch, you see a lock of your lover’s hair against your clothes, you pause to breathe and all you can smell in the whole world is the complicated, unique scent of your lover. A kiss can be the most attention you have ever focused on someone or received from someone. If full-on sex can be compared to someone making you a big, warm razai, kissing can feel like someone embroidering you a tiny, beautiful handkerchief. A kiss is all about small movements.The Kamasutra lists at least a dozen ways of kissing. and recommends two in particular:
- the ‘pressed kiss’ where you press your mouth forcefully against someone’s lower lip,
- ‘the kiss that kindles love’ where you kiss someone to wake them up.