Growing up in 1990s India, George Michael became the sex-ed teacher who told you what sex felt like, beyond the flying saucer clip-art uterus and the AV about menstruation writes Pooja Pande. In the spectrum of “things that you guess and things that you know”, there was a whole lotta erring on the unfortunate side of that equation if you, like me, grew up through the 80s and 90s.And so popped up a question in English class one not so fine day – sweaty is how we were all feeling back in the days when that word did not stretch to include anything remotely sexy. You did not sweat from anything more amazing than the lack of a cool breeze in a cramped classroom.I raised my hand and asked Madhulika Ma’am, “Ma’am, I want to know the meaning of a word.” Now Madhulika Ma’am was one of those cool English teachers – only English teachers were cool like that, no? – and she had recently been encouraging us to read and explore beyond the syllabus and to not fear if we didn’t understand something, because she’d be right there to help us. So, explore I did. I’d just turned 10 and had had a special “double digits” celebration and had encountered something I did not understand, but I knew I wanted to go forth boldly. Badly.This something was George Michael. The man, the music. I’d had a taste and I wanted more.Madhulika Ma’am lost some of that joie de vivre when I asked her I wanted to know what “father figure” meant. “Stay back after class”, was the response I got, an admonishment I knew. “I found it in a book,” I dissembled immediately, knowing even then this was maybe a little too much beyond syllabus. In the video, see, the man did not seem to be conducting a paternal relationship towards the woman and that had me honestly perplexed. But uff, when he crooned, “If you ever hunger, hunger for me”, you somehow knew what he was talking about. You wanted to hunger too. Hunger for him too, yes sure.
George Michael, The Sex-Ed Teacher We Never Had
And all this while dear George, hot-sexy-smooth George Michael in his snug denims kept telling us, ‘Sex is natural, sex is good, sex is fun, sex is chemical’.
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