In a city called Bangalore (ok, Bengaluru) someone called Indhuja was really rather busy. Climbing trees, riding bikes, working a job she quite loved. And one day (when she was like 23), her parents decided time for next steps and put out an ad, matrimonial wala "We are looking for a groom for our daughter who is working as a software engineer,"
Indhuja’s response: Bengaluru, we have a problem da.
[Indhuja speaking]: Problem 1: "The facts were all wrong. The ad painted the picture of a homely girl, which I definitely wasn’t.”
Problem 2: “Also, I’m not a software engineer. I like helping small companies grow, and think of myself as a ‘catalyst in a start-up’.”
Problem 3: “I wasn’t looking to be married, and definitely not the traditional way! It got me angry. Very angry”
Oh well, there was only one thing Indhuja could do… so she did it.
Marry.Indhuja.com
Yep - she built her own matrimonial
This is who I am: (it said)
NOT a womanly woman. Definitely not marriage material. Won't grow long hair, ever.
Gender: Tomboy.
Ideal life partner:
A man, preferably bearded, who is passionate about seeing the world. Someone who earns for himself and does NOT hate his job. Must be flexible with his parents, also means, it's better if he is NOT a family guy. Extra points to the one who hates kids. Points for a great voice and an impressive personality. Should be able to hold a conversation for at least 30 minutes.
News flash: it was not a short matrimonial. When you don’t check the boxes made by heteronormative sanskar, you got to go long na.
Indhuja’s reccos for prospective suitors:
“If you think you qualify, I recommend you re-think.”
“If you are sure, I suggest you show this website to your parents.”
“If you're still sure, try imagining a life with someone like me. Unsure? click the 'X' and get back to what you were doing.”
“Sure? Drop me a message on Facebook or tweet to me.”
Aage kya hua? >>
Engagement hui na hui, engagements were strong
No points for guessing. Indhuja’s post went viral!
350,000 page views
11,000 likes on Facebook
1,000 comments and responses and
40 suitors/proposals
Whom did Indhuja pick?
Indhuja picked: Herself!
Meanwhile her inbox was bursting with letters from ladies
Women were writing to Indhuja stuff like:
[illustrations of women faces] “You read my mind.”
“I want to do the same thing but my parents won’t allow.”
Indhuja’s face: "It's overwhelming to see people relate to this and connect it to a bigger problem. It's part of conservative Indian culture that a woman should not go out after dark and if you do you're not considered to be from a homely family,"
Indhuja ka sawaal:
“These profiles and websites are so many, but where is the room for us to be an individual? I wanted to show that we can just talk about who we really are.”
Jawaab hai? (comments mein dal do)
And Indhuja’s parents - what did they think of her manifesto matrimonial?
Indhuja’s parents were like “what’s all this”. But, her mom would read all the comments.
One day, they asked her: “Kanna, do you like anyone? It’s okay, tell us.”
(Arranged nahin, toh love bhi chalega? Na?)
Indhuja said, “Please stop this for some time."
So they did, Happy endings can happen!
Don’t believe everything you see in the movies frenz!