Agents of Ishq

A photograph of a man and a woman appears on the top left corner of the page. Its mirror image appears on the opposite corner. On the bottom left corner is a photo of Suhas Mishra, co-founder of Misters.in. He is a bearded Indian man, who is wearing a cap. In this photo he is smiling.

Text on the card reads:

Why don’t men have vulnerable conversations about sex with their partners?

(When was the last time someone asked you what do you like?

Was it when Nokia phones were still the rage?)

Suhas Misra of misters.in says filmy stereotypes about men and sex have something to do with this!

Text on the card reads:

Suhas Mishra, Co-Founder of Misters.in:

“Men don’t talk to their partners (about sex) because they model their behaviour unquestioningly on stereotypes”

They feel they need to match the macho Bollywood-Hollywood stereotype.

You know, stereotypes like

“Men always want to have sex”

“Men are always ready to go when it comes to sex”

But data that Misters.in shared at their LSD talk in 2021 revealed an intriguing hidden reality >>

On the bottom left corner is a photograph that shows a man’s face leaning in to kiss a woman’s face.

Text on the card reads:

Stereotype No 1: All men want sex all the time

What Misters.in survey found: A majority of the men were happy having sex at irregular intervals

Infact: 7% didn’t want sex at all

Stereotype No 2: Men are ready to have sex any time of the day

What Misters.in survey found: 20% of men in their 20s, 30% in their 30s etc. have reported not being able to get an erection when expected.

In fact: 72% of those men then don’t feel confident about erections after that point as well.

On the bottom right corner is a photograph that shows a man staring romantically at a woman who is looking away from him. Also along the right border are cut out pages from books and newspaper articles about sex.

Text on the card reads:

Stereotype No 3: “A real man is always able to satisfy the woman”

What Mister.in survey found: 62% of men said they’d like some help with this.

However, only 8% of all men ever talk to their partners about sex.

Aing? If you don’t ask your partner what they’d like, how do you find out? Hum aapke hain… Porn

Along the right border are multiple macho images of men, that convey the idea that masculinity equals power and domination.

Text on the card reads:

Men go to porn to learn how to satisfy their partners.

But, mainstream porn doesn’t teach pleasure,

It teaches dominance.

It says that you have to show that you are “Good” in bed (whatever that means).

So, from the idea of “satisfying the partner” the goal quickly becomes domination/power.

There are no images on this card, only text.

Text on the card reads:

But, what’s wrong with learning to be good in bed?

Sex is not a football match no, Ronaldo?

It’s not about scoring. It’s about playing.

It’s about having masti. And masti means having the space to not be perfect.

It means learning how your partner wants to play.

But, when we try to dominate sex,

We don’t care if our partners are enjoying the “game” (or even if we are).

On the bottom left corner is a photo of Suhas Mishra, co-founder of Misters.in. He is a bearded Indian man, who is wearing a cap. In this photo he is smiling.

Text on the card reads:

How can sex be more pleasurable then? (for everyone)

Thoda stereotype bust karna padega.

“This can only change slowly, painstakingly and through conversation. Telling stories of lives, experiences, specificity and stories with numbers (i.e. sharing data that highlights different sexual experiences).” - Suhas Mishra

How would sex be different if men just communicated with their partners?

Edited by Gitanjali Chandrasekharan

Related posts