Agents, as part of our commitment to make sex-ed sexy and clear any cum-fusion you may have about the param pujya orgasm, we present to you a kunji with the hows, wheres, whats, whys and huhs of the Big O.
Cum-fusion #1: Orgasm hota kya hai exactly?
An orgasm (matlab ki climaxing ya cumming) is a physical response to sexual pleasure. During an orgasm, muscles that tightened during arousal relax through a series of rhythmic contractions, sometimes (but not always) accompanied by ejaculation and release of bodily tension.
Broadly bole toh, orgasms have 4 stages:
(Sex researchers William H. Masters and Virginia E. Johnson, whose work and relationship inspired the award-winning series Masters of Sex, were among the early codifiers of this orgasm theory).
The best way to reach orgasm is by charting a path along the body’s many erogenous zones, like the nipples, clitoris and prostate. So relax, be patient, keep some lube handy and play around.
Cum-fusion #2: Is it true that girls do it…better?
Ab better ka toh nahi pata, but many women can have multiple orgasms. Apparently, not just women but vagina wale log in general have been known to orgasm up to 20 times consecutively! On an average, orgasms in people with vaginas can last anywhere from 20 seconds to longer, while other sexes experience shorter durations of orgasm.
Itna hi nahi, they can have different kinds of orgasms, depending on which erogenous zone has been aroused — for instance, clitoral orgasms, boobgasms, G-spot orgasms (the jury is still out on whether the G-spot exists, but many people orgasm when a certain part of their vaginal wall is stimulated), and anal orgasms (stimulation of the anal sphincter leads to full-body orgasms in all sexes).
Lekin, this does not mean people with penises have less masti. They can reach orgasms by stimulating the penis (duh), the scrotum (yaniki, coconuts) and the anus. Those assigned male at birth have the P-spot, or prostrate, which is a walnut-sized gland right below the bladder. P-spot orgasms are known to be a quick and powerful way to reach mind-blowing orgasms.
Tip: One can reach the P-spot by penetrating the rectum or stimulating the perineum (the patla strip between the coconuts and anus) bahaar se! Remember to use lube and don’t get nervous if you feel the need to pee. That’s just your P-spot getting primed for action.
There is, unfortunately, very little generalisable information about orgasms in intersex people.
However, people of all sexes use kaafi same-same language to describe their orgasms, so there might actually be distinct similarities in orgasms despite sharirik differences.
Cum-fusion #3: What about people who have had gender affirming surgery?
A 2005 study of 55 people who underwent gender-affirming surgery noted that 80% of participants reported “improvement of their sexuality” following gender-affirming surgery. Yaniki, they welcome orgasms with open arms (and legs)!
Those who undergo genital affirmation surgery get “neo-genitals” (or new-genitals). A vagina is usually fashioned using penile skin (once the penis and testicles are removed, if present). The glans (the sensitive head of the penis) is used to make the clitoris, the most jhingalala part of the vulva (which has almost 8000 nerve-endings!). This enables the experience of powerful clitoral orgasms. The neo-penis can’t usually ejaculate since there is no production of sperm, but some say its orgasms can feel better than for those born with penises. Since neo-penises use the clitoris in some cases, they’re able to have intense, sharper, shorter (and psst..multiple!) orgasms.
Cum-fusion #4: Can you orgasm without having sex?
Bohot log experience “spontaneous orgasms” which occur without any stimulation whatsoever. You can have:
Sleep orgasms – “Wet dreams” that turn you on, sending blood rushing to your genitals.
Workout orgasms – A study from Indiana University found that “370 of 530 women surveyed had experienced orgasms while working out, usually from core-based exercises”.
Imagery orgasms – In the 1950s, a team of researchers (G. Klumbies and H. Kleinsorge) recruited a “woman who could bring herself to orgasm five times in quick succession, hands-free”, using simply her mental imagery or fantasies.
Birthgasms – It has been said that orgasms during childbirth are a thing for some birth-giving people, as a means to alleviate some of the labour pain and bring pleasure instead.
Drug-induced orgasms – Erections/swollen genitals and thereby orgasms are caused in some people by certain drugs.
Cum-fusion #5: Does everyone have orgasms?
No, everyone does not necessarily orgasm. The medical condition anorgasmia, which largely affects people with vaginas, makes it difficult to orgasm despite kaafi stimulation. A 2001 study found that “almost 24% women” complain of long periods of anorgasmia in their lives.
Anorgasmia can be a result of ailments like Parkinson’s disease or due to psychological factors, jaise unresolved trauma or associating shame and guilt with sexual pleasure. Certain physical surgeries such as hysterectomy can also put a damper on orgasms. If you have vaginismus, a condition where penetration of the vagina leads to immense pain, it could be a contributing factor to anorgasmia, but many people with vaginismus can have clitoral and other orgasms.
Several drugs (like antidepressants, antihistamines, blood-pressure medications and leisure drugs) can also have an effect on your ability to orgasm, as can excessive consumption of alcohol and smoking.
Cum-fusion #6: Orgasm ka koi age limit hota hai kya?
It is true that the sex drive changes with age, but that doesn’t mean there’s an age limit for masti. A study showed that “5% of men who are above 40 years old” experience complete erectile dysfunction. This number increases to almost 15% in men over 70 years old. However, a number of people with penises have reported orgasm-like sensations even without an erection.
In people who menstruate, oestrogen levels begin to drop during menopause which can cause a reduced sex drive and therefore, fewer orgasms. Lekin, post-menopause, a lot of people experience a return of their sex-drive! If you have transitioned medically and take oestrogen, you will not go through menopause if you choose to continue taking hormones.
Cum-fusion #7: If porn shows it all wrong and books make up stuff, what should I expect from an orgasm? Matlab ho raha hai kya?
Orgasms bhi humaare liye kuch ‘clues’ chhod ke jaate hain…
- Sex Flush: About 50-75% of people with vaginas feel a sex flush (reddening of the face, cheeks and breast for a few seconds) when they orgasm. Only 25% of orgasms in people with penises lead to a sex flush.
- Wetness: Wetness in the vagina results in a milky fluid produced by the skene glands. Wetness in penises, “pre-cum”, is a precursor to the orgasm.
- Pelvic Throbbing: When the muscles relax during orgasms, it might result in involuntary pelvic throbbing in people of all sexes. This lasts for a few seconds.
- Ejaculation: Ejaculation is the expulsion of a watery, white liquid known as semen from the penis. Sex researcher Alfred Kinsey discovered that during ejaculation, semen could be “launched” anywhere from a few inches to two feet away.
- Squirting: Sometimes, people with vaginas can “squirt”, or expel a mixture of urine from the bladder (although it doesn’t smell or look like urine) and whitish fluid from the peri-urethral gland.
Other signs that your body is on its way to orgasm include toes curling, eyes rolling to the top or shutting tightly, and goosebumps. Vagina log, you might even feel that susu-wali sensation right before your orgasm. Penis peeps, you know you’re close to orgasm when the scrotum tightens and the testicles rise (the right one, allegedly, more than the left)!
Cum-fusion #8: Are orgasms good for you?
Yes! Sex researcher Alfred Kinsey found that during an orgasm, multiple physical changes can take place that offer different kinds of temporary relief. A stutterer might lose their stutter; phantom limb pain in amputees may disappear; fever and muscle aches temporarily recede. In menstruating people, orgasms can alleviate cramps and other bodily discomforts temporarily.
Cum-fusion #9: Why do I often feel sleepy after an orgasm?
Pehle toh, sex and masturbation are cardio-vascular workouts, even though the pleasure may not make it seem as tiresome. Lekin aside from that, there is some science behind the specific urge to sleep after an orgasm.
During arousal and orgasm, the brain releases a hormone called oxytocin (pyaar se referred to as the “cuddle hormone”). Oxytocin influences the amount of cortisol in your body, which may make you feel more relaxed and happy during an orgasm. It is often released hand-in-hand with melatonin (which helps regulate the body clock and sleep schedules), adrenaline and dopamine (aka happy hormone). All this makes your body feel more excitable and sensitive during arousal and when the levels of these hormones drop after orgasm, you may feel exhausted and sleepy. Perhaps this is how the idea of sex and masti as night-time/pre-naptime activities came to be?
Cum-fusion #10: I sometimes feel like crying after an orgasm, am I weird?
A 2019 study found 41% penis-waale log and 46% people with vaginas have at some point felt sad, anxious and even angry after good, consensual sex. Sometimes, it’s just hormones doing their thing again. If this happens regularly, it could be postcoital dysphoria. There’s limited research on this condition, but if good sex leaves you feeling low, do consider reaching out to a therapist or some other mental health professional.
But, a lot of people cry after an orgasm (sometimes referred to as crymaxing), which may not be a negative thing — crying can be the body’s response to the flood of emotions felt during an intense orgasm, and/or the change in hormonal levels during climax. And, as we know, a good cry often leads to sound sleep…which could be another reason why you may fall asleep right after an orgasm.