(English) Stuff People Said They Miss In Porn!

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Porn Aapka Hai Kaun? This question results in numerous answers – habit, indulgence, sex-education, handy helper, shared pleasure, entertainment, myth-buster, misconception-generator.

The internet has made porn relatively easy, almost routine, yet our conversation about it is atka hua in one place – is it bad or is it ok? Stigmatising porn and saying it’s all bad comes from a discomfort with the idea of sex. Wouldn’t it be more helpful if we discussed how porn, while being a way to be aroused, to get off, without becoming prim and proper, could also be more positive, more diverse, more relatable for us?

People often consume the porn they can access easily, but that doesn’t mean they don’t wish it had a certain something else, especially since it has become such a regular part of sexual culture. So, we asked the agents of ishq on social media:

63 people responded across the AOI social media handles, of whom 50% were women, 40% were men and 10% were non-binary or unstated. 8% specified they were queer.

 

While some had very specific asks of porn (“more anal stretching as foreplay”) most responses fell into a few broader categories.

 

 

 1. Quality Maal

 

Quick and dirty are all very well, but it’s not enough! The thing maximum people felt was lacking in porn was aesthetics. 20.5% wished for more actual storylines, not just scenarios. And dialogue which wasn’t just yeah baby, ooh baby types. Thoda better lighting, thoda nice shot-taking – looks may not be everything, but they’re something! 

And women directors. While that applies to the entire cultural universe, porn made from different points of view could only mean a more interesting world of sex.

 

2. Tere Mere Beech Mein

 

Connection is the biggest lacuna people seem to identify in porn. Either through storyline or through interaction, the sense of tacked on reactions is obviously dissatisfying many. 19% of people, across gender and sexual orientation, wanted to experience the sexual or erotic connection between the people getting it on on screen: interaction, eye contact, smiles, banter, touching each other, foreplay.

By outlawing sexual representation from mainstream culture, it’s as if we now get to see only the physical parts of sex, and very little of the fun and feelings that happen in and around sex. People want to see the complete interaction of sex, not just a perfunctory lead up to intercourse. They wanted more sexual (not necessarily romantic) intimacy to be present on screen.

3.Desi Delights

14.5% stressed the desi factor. Better-made Indian porn, relatable Indian contexts, better queer desi porn, brown bodies – matlab an AOI of porn with a dil and body that’s Hindustani 😉

4. Hamara Shareer

12.5% of those who responded wanted to see diverse bodies, and bodes we can relate to – hairy, brown, not airbrushed but thin, fat, in-between, imperfectly lovely, just like we all are. And we would add, abled, disabled, cis and trans – imagine a porniverse that’s diverse!

5. Real Live Girls

So much porn is made for the consumption of straight cis-men (often by straight cis-men) that women in it are unrealistic and standardized. 12.5% wanted to see more active, alive representations of women: women orgasming, relatable lesbian sex, not just girl-on-girl not just girl-on-girl for male viewing pleasure

 

6. Consensual Sex, Ethical porn

Even as we distigmatise porn, we can hardly forget that it often does not do the best job of depicting consensuality – women are just always available and ready in porn. And like any other industry, the porn industry too can be exploitative of those who work in it.

6.5% of those who responded expressed a desire for a way to know if porn had been ethically produced. And correspondingly, to see more consensuality depicted on screen through sexual interaction – partners guiding each other through sex, laughter and smiling, anal sex which women enjoy and so on.

You can read more about ethical porn here.

The conversation just started. Let’s keep it going.

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