So what if schools did not give us sex education. Movies did, even if it was a very shaky funda – because where else was sex mentioned except in movie songs. Struggling to come up with a scientific explanation to join the dots of innuendo, our contributors owe some of their enthusiasm for sex ed to the confusions these songs created.
So, here’s our Sex-Ed Geet Mala, compiled by Agent of Ishq with a little help from our friends! And obviously this time we have not five, but six, because that was the other innuendo no one could resist at age 10, right.
If you have a song you’d like to contribute send it over to us at firstname.lastname@example.org
1. ANDE KA FUNDA
Written by a physics or maybe maths professor, this song couldn’t be more precise. No eggs=no chickens=no parties=no fun=no life (because no reason to make out irresponsibly apparently!). Not that far away from T.S.Eliot saying – You see this egg/ Well that’s life on a crocodile isle/Birth, and copulation, and death./ That’s all, that’s all, that’s all, that’s all/
Birth, and copulation, and death.
2. POST OFFICE KA FUNDA
We’ll get together, write a letter with our desire and then will come a reply-baby. An elaborate postal metaphor for how babies are made had one Agent of Ishq convinced, as a child, that babies came in the mail.
3. DRESS CODE KA FUNDA
Somehow the contributor of the song managed to figure that during “that act” women stayed clothed while men undressed and then impregnation might happen through a special X-ray vision
4. MENSTRUATION KA FUNDA
The contributor of this song swears this is about no sex during menstruation. Aaj mohabbat band hai while in a place where there is ample mohabbat going on, and “aaj” being the clue, which means that mohabbat may not be bandh tomorrow. If this is so, we dedicate it to our friends Menstrupedia.
5. HONEYMOOON KA FUNDA
Once films began going from the Suhag Raat to the Honeymoon, our knowledge grew a little less hazy. This song came closes to giving away that something goes on between the sheets with no clothes on and a whole lot of love, friendship and fun. Also – propos to this movie because after dedicated honeymooning, Rishi Kapoor goes out searching for condoms (though he is to shy to say the word) – which is something.
6. ENGLISH KA FUNDA
Our better educated friends contributed this beacon of clarity. From the angrezi movie Grease 2 , the uambiguously named Reproduction, all about the birds and bees, featuring the stygma which is not the same as stigma, ok? Ok.