Sex Actually (Let’s Talk About It)

While we define and redefine the terms and terminology of sexual relationships –  consent, agency, respect and sexuality – we know that sex, as it actually happens, is complicated, individual, subjective.

 How can we remember this when we talk about violence, health, agency, identity and consent in sex, but talk quite little about sex, actually? Maybe it is time to share the stories of our own secret voyages and also navigate the unfamiliar shores of other women’s sex lives. Because it is only by talking about what actually happens in sex, as sex, through sex and because of sex that we can get to a kind, complex and loving world of sex and sexualness.

 Agents of Ishq and The Ladies Finger invite women to share their stories of sex – anonymously, or in your own name, the choice is yours.

 Have you ever had a sexual encounter that you just couldn’t forget? That keeps coming back to you from time to time or all the time?

 Perhaps you can’t forget it because it was your very first time – having sex or a type of sex. Perhaps it is because it was strange in ways that you have never quite discussed with anyone. Perhaps it is because you learnt something about yourself.  Perhaps it was a mistake you don’t regret, because it taught you something important that has stood you in good stead. Perhaps you can’t forget it because it was so unexpectedly horrible or unexpectedly wonderful, wonderfully exciting or weirdly funny, unbelievably romantic or unrepeatably, excitingly raunchy. Maybe you felt one way about it when it happened and feel differently about it now.

 It’s only when women actually talk about sex that we are going to build a world of sex that includes their choices and fantasies and comfort levels, their idea of sexiness and consent and respect and love-sex-desire.

 So tell us your story by clicking here. This form is secure and anonymous and we will publish them on The Ladies Finger and Agents of Ishq. You can write in English, Hindi, Malayalam, Kannada, Bengali and Marathi. These are the languages in which we can process stories currently.

 If you’d rather email the story you can also do that –

 Just add your age now, your age at the time of the story and make up a name for yourself. Then, go ahead and write out the story and why you keep thinking about it.

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