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Me, My M.I.L and My Abortion

Based on Ibis Reproductive Health's qualitative research with 43 medication abortion users in rural and urban India

PART 1

The card features a young woman, and an older woman leaning against each other, and smiling at each other. The younger woman is wearing a salwar-kurta, and the older woman is wearing a saree with the pallu draped over her head. A speech bubble next to the younger woman has the text,” Kyunki…Sometimes support comes from unexpected places.”

Text on the card reads:

Me, My M.I.L And My Abortion 

PART 1

KYUNKI....SOMETIMES SUPPORT COMES FROM UNEXPECTED PLACES.

BASED ON IBIS'S QUALITATIVE RESEARCH WITH 43 MEDICATION ABORTION USERS IN RURAL + URBAN INDIA.

The card features an older woman telling her friends, “haha yeh pehli ekdum 9 mahine, 9 din baad nijli, haha.” A younger woman is standing nearby, with a tray in her hand, and a shy look on her face. In the background, on the wall, is the photograph of a family celebrating the first birthday of a child. 

Text on the card reads:

I'M KUSUM. IN THE FIRST YEAR OF MARRIAGE ONLY, SANJU AND I WERE BLESSED WITH OUR CUTIE PEHLI.

ALMOST TWO YEARS I'M PART OF THIS FAMILY BUT SOMETIMES I STILL FEEL LIKE THE NEW, AWKWARD BAHU. REASON? MY SAAS GAYATRI GOSSIPY DEVI AKA GAPPOJI!

The card features an infant crawling on the ground holding a strip of condom packets. An older man nearby has spilled his tea in shock. An older woman is telling someone on the phone, “Arre Sunathi, guess maine abhi abhi kya dekha heheh”. A separate illustration features a woman secretly trying to purchase an i-pill from the pharmacy.

Text on the card reads:

SANJAY AND I ARE VERY CLEAR SECOND BABY AFTER 4 YEARS ONLY SO CONDOMS ALWAYS IN STOCK! ONE DAY PEHLI FOUND THE CONDOMS AND IT WAS SO EMBARRASSING!

SANJAY COMES JUST ONCE IN A FEW MONTHS, SO SOMETIMES I DON'T GET TIME TO BUY CONDOMS. SO I TAKE THE I-PILL.

BUT I DO IT OUTSIDE SOMEHOW I - STILL FEEL VERY EMBARRASSED. SO I PRETEND I'M GOING FOR GOLGAPPAS

The card features an older woman gossiping with her friends about her daughter-in-law, who is making tea in the kitchen. Another illustration shows the group of older women giggling at the younger woman who is serving them tea. The younger woman looks embarrassed.

Text on the card reads:

HE LEFT YESTERDAY NA. MIYA BIWI WERE FIGHTING TILL LATE NIGHT.

"YOU COME FROM MUSCAT AND GO HERE & THERE, BUT DON'T SPEND TIME WITH ΜΕ."

2 SAAL EK BABY BUT MADAM KI PASSION KI GAADI FIFTH GEAR MEIN!

The card features a man, holding his arms out to his wife, and wishing her a happy birthday. The woman’s mother-in-law, who is remembering this scene, looks unhappy.

Text on the card reads:

TODAY SANJAY GAVE ME A ROMANTIC SURPRISE BY SUDDENLY COMING FROM MUSCAT.

MERE BIRTHDAY KE LIYE SIRF WHATSAPP CARD. BIWI KE B'DAY PE PERSONAL CARD HAAN?

SO EVEN EVEN M-I-L KA JALWA COULDN'T GET TO ME!

The card features two illustrations of a couple being romantic and intimate with each other. Some unopened packets of condoms are lying nearby. 

Text on the card reads:

SANJAY LEFT AFTER TWO RUSHED DAYS.

I DIDN'T REALISE HE HAD LEFT ANOTHER SURPRISE BEHIND.

The card features a woman asking a pharmacist for a pregnancy kit. Another female customer who is eavesdropping, is telling her, “Khush khabri hi hoga beta I’m sure.”

Text on the card reads:

IN THE RUSH I MISSED TAKING THE I-PILL AND REMEMBERED IT TOO LATE. I THOUGHT I'LL WAIT FOR MY PERIOD. BUT IT DIDN'T COME.

BH...BHAIYYA, EK PREGNANCY KIT CHAHIYE

KHUSH KHABRI HI HOGA BETA, I'M SURE!

The card features a woman sitting on a toilet seat, looking worried, and holding a positive pregnancy test in her hand. A number of thought bubbles verbalize her anxieties. 

Text on the card reads:

I WAS PREGNANT AGAIN.

IF I TELL GAPPOJI, SHE'LL BE EXCITED ABOUT A SECOND KID. SHE'LL WASTE NO TIME TELLING HER FRIENDS.

IF I SAY I WANT AN ABORTION, WILL THEY FEEL I AM BAD?

SANJAY WILL SAY "DON'T WORRY, I'LL EARN ENOUGH FOR THEM!" BUT HOW WILL I MANAGE 2 TINY KIDS AT ONCE? EVEN ONE WITHOUT HIM IS HARD.

The card features a woman hiding behind a tree, near a crowded pharmacy. There is also an illustration of a mobile phone, which shows a text conversation between two people. A pop-out from the same shows a packet of abortion pills.

Text on the card reads:

I WHATSAPPED MY FRIEND FROM MY COLLEGE. SHE'S A DOCTOR. SHE TOLD ME I SHOULD THINK OF MY WELL BEING AND GET ABORTION PILLS.

WHEN WILL EVERYONE LEAVE? WHY IS THERE A CROWD AT 3 IN THE AFTERNOON?

I HAD NO CLUE HOW I WOULD MANAGE THE BLEEDING ON MY OWN AT HOME AND HIDE IT. I WOULD HAVE TO FIGURE IT OUT.

The card features a woman purchasing abortion pills from the pharmacy. The woman’s mother-in-law, who has just entered the shop, looks surprised to see her. Another illustration shows both women looking stunned.

Text on the card reads:

FINALLY THE CROWD CLEARED...

SIR YE ABORTION PILLS CHAHIYE. PRESCRIPTION HAI...

BAHU ii

OH NO!

WHAT NOW?

PART 2

The card features a young woman, and an older woman leaning against each other, and smiling at each other. The younger woman is wearing a salwar-kurta, and the older woman is wearing a saree with the pallu draped over her head. A speech bubble next to the younger woman has the text,” Kyunki…Sometimes support comes from unexpected places.”

Text on the card reads:

Me, My M.I.L And My Abortion 

PART 2

KYUNKI....SOMETIMES SUPPORT COMES FROM UNEXPECTED PLACES.

BASED ON IBIS'S QUALITATIVE RESEARCH WITH 43 MEDICATION ABORTION USERS IN RURAL + URBAN INDIA.

The card features a young woman, and an older woman at a pharmacist’s shop.  The older woman looks surprised and curious. The younger woman looks flustered and uncomfortable.

Text on the card reads:

JUST MY LUCK MY M-I-L WAS AT THE SHOPS WHEN I WAS BUYING THE ABORTION PILLS! A BAD SITUATION BECAME WORSE.

KUSUM, BETA! YE KYA KHAREED RAHE HO!?

I'M SORRY MUMMYJI...I...I...I

The card features a mother-n-law comforting her crying daughter-in-law by putting her arm around her.

BETA. LET'S GO HAVE JUICE. LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS OUTSIDE THE HOUSE SO PAPAJI DOES NOT HAVE TO GET INTO LADIES MATTERS.

MY HEART WAS IN MY MOUTH!

The card features three main illustrations. The first features a mother-n-law and daughter-in-law walking down a street, near a juice shop. The second and third illustrations show them having a conversation with each other, while sitting at a table at a restaurant, drinking juice.

Text on the card reads:

SANJAY AND I DECIDED TO HAVE ANOTHER KID ONLY AFTER 4 YEARS. BUT BEECH MEIN GALTI HO GAYI

PASSION KO GALTI NAI BOLTE BETA. YOU KNOW NA, SANJAY AND SAMEERA ARE ONLY 2 YEARS APART. MY MIND AND BODY SUFFERED. ONLY I KNOW HOW I MANAGED, SOMEHOW.

SO, I SHOULD JUST HAVE THE BABY?

SHE IS SAYING SHE MANAGED, WHY CAN'T I?

SOCH LO. YOU HAVE A SMALL DAUGHTER. YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT YOUR BODY ALSO. HOW WILL YOU MANAGE? IF I ASK YOU TO CONTINUE OR NOT, YOU WILL SAY THAT MY MOTHER-IN-LAW MADE ME DO THIS. SO, THINK OVER IT AND DECIDE...

IT IS YOUR LIFE. HOW CAN WE FORCE YOU?

The card features a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, having a conversation with each other, while sitting at a table at a restaurant, drinking juice. In the background is a large window, which shows the busy street outside.

Text on the card reads:

WHAT WILL SANJAY & PAPA JI SAY? WHAT IF OTHERS IN THE FAMILY COME TO KNOW?

WE CAN TELL SANJAY TOGETHER, IF YOU'D LIKE! AND SANJAY'S FATHER IS TOO OLD FASHIONED AND CLUELESS. LET'S LEAVE HIM OUT. I'LL MANAGE HIM AND TELL HIM YOU'RE HAVING PERIOD PROBLEMS.

WHAT WAS I HEARING? I COULDN'T BELIEVE GAPPOJI WAS BEING SO KIND!

The card features two illustrations of a mother, speaking to her son over a video call, while her daughter-in-law, sits nearby. In the first illustration, they all look serious. In the second, the mother-in-law is making a joke and winking, and the son and daughter-in-law look shy. 

BETA, I'M TELLING YOU THIS IS FOR THE BETTER. YOU DON'T KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS FOR ME. YOU WON'T NEED TO LEAVE YOUR JOB EARLIER. PEHLI WILL BE BIGGER. BACCHE BAAD MEIN HO JAYENGE-SEEING YOU PEOPLE'S HIT RATE. I'LL TAKE CARE OF BAHU.

LEKIN 2ND KE BAAD TU VASECTOMY KARWAYEGA, PROMISE KAR. TUM LOGO KA HONEYMOON KABHI KHATAM NAHIN HOGA, LAGTA HAIL

The card features three illustrations. In the first, a mother-in-law is reassuring her daughter-in-law who is taking abortion pills. In the second, a child is shown clinging to their grandmother, asking for her mother to take her to the garden, but the mother is curled up in bed, feeling unwell. The grandmother is reassuring the child that she will take her instead. In the third illustration, the mother-in-law is gazing fondly at the daughter-in-law, who is getting ready to go out, in front of the mirror.

Text on the card reads:

I'LL SLEEP HERE TONIGHT. I'M HERE, DON'T WORRY!

MUMMY!!! GARDEN!!!

PEHLI BETA, MUMMY KO SONE DO. I'LL TAKE YOU. DOODH FINISH?

I FELT HAPPY AND LUCKY TO HAVE A FRIEND-MOTHER- IN-LAW.

FEELING FINE, BETA? SHALL WE GO FOR GOL GAPPAS?

The card features three illustrations. In the first, a mother-in-law is shown talking to her friend, in the living room, as her daughter-in-law makes tea in the kitchen. In the second illustration, which is the largest, the mother-in-law’s friend is expressing concern about a third person who has become pregnant. The mother-in-law is confidently telling her about abortion pills. The third illustration shows the daughter-in-law looking on appreciatively at the mother-in-law.  

Text on the card reads:

FEW MONTHS LATER

ARRE WOH PREGNANT HO GAYI HAI. KYA HOGA USKA?

PUCHO USE, AGAR ABORTION KARANA HAI YA NAHIN. GOLIYON SE HO JATA HAI AAJ KAL BHAI. KUSUM KI EK DOCTOR DOST NE BATAYA THA EK BAAR!

The card features a daughter-in-law trying on a new saree that her mother-in-law has gifted her. The mother-in-law is winking at her while cracking a joke. Two smaller illustrations show the women looking at each other for a second in silence, before bursting out laughing. 

Text on the card reads:

MUMMYJI, THANK YOU, AAPNE NE ITNE PYAAR SE SAATH DIYA.

TUMHEIN LAGA MAIN BAHUT BAATEIN BATAOONGI AUR SUNAOONGI NA? I KNOW HOW IT FEELS: KYUNKI SAAS BHI KABHI BAHU THI.

The card features a woman marking the day of her husband’s return from abroad, and thinking that she needs to buy condoms in advance. Her mother-in-law is teasing her about it. 

Text on the card reads:

SANJAY RETURNS!

KYA SOCH RAHI HO, BAHU?

CONDOMS KHAREEDNA PADEGA

FACING THE FEARS AND TENSION OF UNWANTED PREGNANCY ALONE IS HARD, BUT ABORTION HAS BEEN A PART OF MORE PEOPLE'S LIVES THAN WE EXРЕСТ. WE DON'T HAVE TO BE ALONE!

SEEK HELP WHERE YOU CAN, AND BE THE UNEXPECTED HELPING HAND -

WHETHER YOU'RE SAAS, BAHU, PARTNER, FRIEND OR STRANGER AT THE CHEMIST

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