Some people feel that the more positions you go through during sex, the better the sex must have been, that the definition of good sex is many-positions wala sex. But have you ever felt like your lover was trying to put you through a very advanced yoga class? Like you were being tossed and turned when all you wanted to do was lie back and enjoy the moment? Or maybe you were one of those who wished your partner would get in step with you, instead of just lying there.
For some, it’s the extreme acrobatics that may seem daunting. But for others it’s the thrill of finding something new that they really like. While some are convinced that nobody can twist themselves into so many shapes, others want to try new positions out immediately.
Whatever it is, we all seem to have a position on sexual positions. Read on to see what yours is called.
The Curious Cat Position
Curious Cats will try anything once. They love trying out new sexual positions for novelty. For them, every new position is a fresh thrill. “I like new positions because you never know what’s going to work!” says Payal, a biomedical researcher. “It’s a gamble. Either it’ll be weird and awkward, or really interesting and let you access a unique combo of body parts, or maybe just give you a great new view. It’s a 50-50 chance whether it will work, but since we’re talking about sex, I’m willing to take that bet!”
Krishnan, a 20-year-old student based in Hyderabad, says he loves the spice different positions add, and definitely thinks multiple positions add an extra layer to the fun. “Each position can make it feel like you’re with a new person altogether.” 26-year-old Dyuti says changing positions is like finding different ways to experience pleasure, and the discovery of new, unexpected positions that work is worth the exhaustion.
The Sleeping Dragon Position
The Sleeping Dragon crowd are the opposite of Curious Cats. They find the idea of changing positions distracting, annoying and unnecessarily energetic. Pavithra R, a 29-year-old media professional from Bangalore, mournfully recalls (with some traces of trauma) that when she first started having sex, it felt like she was in a couples’ figure-skating contest. She recalls being flung about in a variety of positions that she just wasn’t into. “I think because we were so young we had the feeling that sex is itself such a rarity that this is the moment we need to try out everything we’ve ever seen and heard. It was exhausting.”
Sleeping Dragons feel like changing positions continuously actually makes it harder for them to enjoy sex, and say they need to stay in a particular position if they’re to have an orgasm. “I know what positions work for me,” says Pavithra. “There are a couple of others I’m [genuinely] willing to try but not for long. I mean, I don’t want to waste time barking up the wrong tree.” Pavithra mentions that she doesn’t like being roughly positioned while having sex. She recalls, “There’ve been moments when he’s flipping me over and I’m like ‘okay, you need to relax, I’m not a roti that’s done on one side’!”
The Slo-Mo Snail Position
There is a small subset of people who like using different sexual positions, but as a “chill-pill,” to slow down and delay activities. Vinay, a proud Slo-Mo Snail and lawyer based in Delhi, says, “Sometimes, if I’m too ready or feel I’m going to orgasm earlier than her, or earlier than I want to, I initiate a new position. The process of changing positions gives you some time to cool off [delay orgasm], and that also helps the sex last longer, which is always good. Plus, I know I find it harder to cum when I’m on my back, so sometimes if I think I’m going to finish too soon, I just flip onto my back to last longer. It’s definitely good to last longer, so I guess changing positions during sex can make it better if you do it judiciously.”
The King of the Jungle Position
This group is the philosophical opposite of the Slo-Mo Sloths. For those with king of the jungle aspirations, positions just help in the race to the top. When you know a position works for you, why bother with anything else? 27-year-old Kayla, who works at a flight company, says, “I know I can squirt if I’m on top or in cowgirl rather than missionary. So, I initiate that position and try to ride it out and cum first, before he can get on top or naturally take whatever position works for him, cum first and ruin my chance of coming at all. It’s almost like a precaution.” She uses positions to make sure she gets her own orgasm out of the way herself, so that she can focus on pleasuring her partner later.
The Head-Butting Bull and Look Away Lion Positions
For one half of this group, liking or not liking a position depends precisely on whether they are facing or not facing their partner. It’s easy to expect that many people have a fondness for sexual positions that bring you face-to-face with your partner, as it makes you feel connected to the partner, and makes for a more emotionally charged experience.
The other half are people who lean towards sexual positions that don’t have you facing your partner. When asked, they reply that it’s exactly because they don’t want their partner to see their responses. “I love doggy style the best,” says Neeti, an architecture student. “Firstly, because it hits a nice spot, but also because they can’t see your face. I’m pretty sure I make an ugly face naturally during sex, so I have to try to control my expression to make it look like I’m having fun but still looking sexy when he can see it. Doggy style really lets me let go.”
There does seem to be something about face-to-face contact that makes it hard to keep up appearances or ‘fake it’. It can make for either an intimate or uncomfortable experience, which is why people tend to have pretty strong feelings around this particular position.
The Pair of Penguins Position
Did you know that penguins mate for life? That would probably give them plenty of time to try all the positions they ever wanted. The stage of the relationship plays a big role in what positions humans are up for trying too. While some end up trying out lots of positions right at the beginning of a sexual encounter, others like to save the experimentation, and the special, intimate stuff, for later on in the relationship.
Manav, a gay software professional, recalls how good it felt to figure out which few positions worked with his long-term partner and says that there’s beauty in the discovery with someone you trust, “We soon fell into a comfortable routine of five positions. We would be in one position when we started and in another to finish, like following steps. These were the positions that worked for us as individuals, or maybe for us both as a couple, as a unit.”
Some people feel more comfortable discussing new positions in long-term relationships. There’s more trust and vulnerability, and less fear of failure, so you don’t feel the need to have sex that looks perfect, and risk trying out something that may fail.
Ritu, a 38-year-old journalist, says that as she’s grown older and “raised her standards,” she’s only willing to put in the effort of trying new positions with close partners. “If I’m casually hooking up with a person or something, I’m usually pretty boring about new positions, and prefer to stick to the basics [missionary, doggy-style]. But if I’m in a relationship with someone I care about and they tell me about a crazy position they want to try, I’d be willing to go along with it even if I wasn’t convinced, because I care about them.”
The Mama Bear Position
Some people choose certain positions while trying to get pregnant, thanks to the many urban legends about positions that help you conceive and even those that help conceive a boy! Of course, once pregnancy is achieved, some couples report that the new state of affairs has forced them to try new positions, some of which even become beloved hits upon discovery. But most pregnant women (or women who have been pregnant) agree that sex during pregnancy can be precarious enough without shifting into hundreds of positions.
The Performing Seal Position
Some people think that sexual positions equal sexual knowledge. Many women seem to suspect that their partners are trying to show off when they routinely initiate a flurry of positions. Mina, a 24-year-old student who dates women, says she encounters Bookworms amongst women all the time too, and thinks there could be a simple reason why people believe this. “With a new person, there’s always more pressure to impress, to show them I know more positions. It’s like, I’ve done a lot of different things before, and so I’m doing it here also. Knowing a lot of positions speaks of your previous experience and so automatically of your [sexual] skill. The more easily you flow into each position, the better they know you’ve done it before.”